Regret and Acceptance, Part I

Note: This post is for me, and is quite lengthier than my other posts. Read it only when you have the time and will.

 

 

Normally I’d start this blog post with an apology for my lack of frequent posting and would plead for the readers to bear with me. Well, I’m done apologizing. Actually, for once, this blog entry is for my enjoyment, not the readers. And, I’ve come to accept that I’m going to post when I feel like it. Now on to the post…

You know what’s greatest thing about blogging in my opinion? It’s the fact that every time you publish a post, a moment of your life is forever emblazoned on the internet at that point in time for all comers to see, and more importantly, for the blogger himself. You get to go back however many posts and see how your life evolves from entry to entry. Before writing this entry, I did just that. And I’ll tell you something, I’m not impressed. I write about how I’m exploring jobs and setting goals and the other shit that tends to pop up in my mind at the moment. And quite frankly, when I was reading some of the posts, I got annoyed. At myself. For being so damn whiny. Waah.

While I read the posts, I assumed the states of mind I had as I wrote them. What I noticed was the states of mind for each post all possessed forms of doubt and uncertainty. Let’s just say that after losing two loved ones in less than a year and going to my grandfather’s wake, that uncertainty is all cleared up now.

Wakes are always morbid occasions. Family and friends come together to mourn the loss of a loved one, resulting in very few dry eyes in the building. One of the most important parts of any wake is the remembrance of the special times that you had with the loved one. I sat there and thought of all the great  times I had with my grandfather. At the same time, both the accomplishments and failures of my life thus far came rushing back to me. I spoke with my uncle a little after the wake and we talked about my uncertainty with my career path and such. The one thing that I got out of our conversation was this:

At the end of the day, all of us, without exception, will eventually die. How we choose to live until that point is up to us. Do you really want to have regrets when you’re laying there in that casket?

Regret. The one thing that all of us have that we wish we didn’t. After the wake, and well into the following weeks, I thought about my current career path and the many times I’ve looked over the fence at other things that I wanted to try. It took weeks, but I finally got the balls to do something about it. So, I took action…

Click here to go to part II